my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
