If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
