I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think people are normalizing furries
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize