Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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