Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
