Me too!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
