Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
