You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
