I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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