He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize