Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
