Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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