Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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