he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
