I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
