it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize