So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
