That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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