do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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