Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
