brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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