Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I understand Curling. That high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
