Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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