have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
