i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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