u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
