Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
