I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
