my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
