I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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