but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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