I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize