hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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