Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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