you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
