you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
