like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
