He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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