How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
