My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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