If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
