Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
