This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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