I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
