My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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