just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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