I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
