i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
