I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
