SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You pole danced in your parka.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
