hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
