1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
