He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
