I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
