I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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