You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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