i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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